reflection through vodka..

Well.. its a long time coming.  But I have had a roller coaster ride to get here. Why on earth do we think we can let others take control of our lives?  I love my Mr. Str8, but the road to this pit stop has been a long and dramatic one.  I just spent an hour creeping my own Facebook pix.  And I’m not sure I really like what I see.  I packed on the pounds again.  I had one hot summer, and as it is nearly Pride Week in Halifax, I  am vodka full of ideas and plans.  Yes, I can see the errors of my ways.  Of keeping up the blinders to the fact I feel as if I lost myself again.  This time, not because I am forced to be the dutiful son and care for my mother who lasted 6.. count em.. 6 long years after my father died.  But nearly 2 years with Mr. Str8, and its like I am Alice looking through the looking glass.

I know all the right things to say and do.  But not enough to keep me as I was.  I feel self-loathing again and ladies and gentlemen.. that is not cool.  I have a great life.  I love the man I am with.. but is that the issue?  Or is it that I stopped loving myself that I am lamenting with vodka in ginger ale (diet, thankfully) that I am working on regaining my strenght?

I have much baggage I need to open, and if you are willing, I will share it with you all. After all, I am interested in having my own reallity show.  So, I have to start somewhere right?  I feel as if I have become lazy and that has not been me for sometime.  And I need to make changes.

Is anyone following me here? Or am I putting this out there for my own recourse?

Anywhoodles.. just thought I would make a post. I will be back soon, my wordpress peeps..

Have a good time and remember.. it’s a blood bath out there. Take care of you, and each other.

Later.

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1 Comment

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One response to “reflection through vodka..

  1. Ah drunken blogging, it gets the best of all of us haha. Keep it up, Bryon! I want more!!

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