Monthly Archives: September 2011

Diva 1, Blog 0

So, seems I am self-blog-sufficent…. the disfunction appears to be corrected and my widgets and all ducks now back in a row.

Sorry for the pointless postings.  Guess I ll make it worth my while for now.

Kinda feeling superpowered right about now. I solved my own problem, very Shirley Holmes like.  Too bad that Lindsay chick can’t say the same.

Canada’s Got Talent will finally be starting shortly, and I am hoping for X-Factor Canada also..


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My Blog Hates Me..Justsayin

Ok.  My layout is messed, and I can’t seem to fix it.. waaaahhhhhh!!

How in Rob Lowe, can I make it look as good as it was, beforehand?

It is just my luck. I m having a bout of e-blog-tile disfunction!!!



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Imagine the World If the Gays Took Over…

Imagine the world if the gays took over.  We would get the most masculine hollywood stars dress in drag, and parade in heels in Buttfuck anywhere, USA.  We would have a badboy dress up in bad 70s polyester suits, and have sex with other men.  (Since he WAS married to Madonna, not a stretch for him, we all know).  We would have musical films, and dance films, and little wizards in plays in glorious nudity.  We would have dudes kissing each other, while searching for a car.  TV would have even more musicals, with hot young stars, in various states of undress on a weekly basis.  We would have competition shows for models, porn stars, singers, dancers, and even put a few in a fake house and watch them, 24/7.  And there would be hot guys galore.  We could have sci-fi with man-on-man sex, lots of kissing and lewd comments. 

Imagine the world if the gays took over.  We would have cell phones that multi-task: phones, cameras, and the internet.  (To tweet conquests and keep up with that little skinny bitch who posts YouTube music videos every ten minutes of Pink, Madonna, Brittney Spears).  These new gadgets would be called G-somethings.  G2, G3, G4… Not standing for Generation, but for Gay…  We would snap dirty pix of ourselves, and share it with the world.  Instantly.  Start sexting, and figure out what not to wear.  (There’s an app for that).

Imagine the world if the gays took over.  Kilts would appear season after season, in fashion weeks around the world, worn by men created of bone, muscle and flesh.  And they would wear purses.  Pants will have velcro, and be made of mesh, sheer materials and leather.  More magazines will have men on the cover, and offer to reveal secrets about pleasing him in intimate ways, to try to keep him at home, and not running the roads.  Make-up will make all men look younger, and more photogenic.

Imagine the world if the gays took over.  BBQs will have more surface space, for those intimate, tailgating parties with the bros.  There would be warming compartments, and shelving, for spices, and serving vessels in the latest pastels, with logos from sports teams, so that the bros feel the manly love of grilled meat, veggies and even BBQ devil’s food cake, with extra creamy cream frosting.   All, conveniently prepared on the all-in-one BBQ, nestled beside the swimming pool, and over-sized hot tub, where guys can relax and share conversations, pressed up in the hot water, against each other.

Imagine the world if the gays took over.  Cars would be more environmentally friendly, would have space to stretch out, for those times you just can’t make it home to pull off a private time with the bro u meet on the street corner, or at that club. 

Imagine the world if the gays took over.  Politicians would have the chance to get to know the bros in their districts, one-on-one, or in group conventions, at the most luxurious hotels.  (With a private excercise room, sauna, and spa). 

Imagine the world if the gays took over…..ah.. oh, ok.. never mind.  Look s like we already took over.  Why am I the last the know??? Damnit!

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So another week with a weekday off, and Str8 is back at work.  I know I have a few things to do tomorrow, like calling the power company, and stopping my paper delivery. (Which I only started because the sexy college boi was selling subscriptions, and offered movie tickets.  I know, call me Samantha Jones.. well not really, since I only got the movie tickets, and paper towel to mop up Str8’s drool over the poor boi).

I feel the long distance thing seems to be getting my last nerve.  On my own for a week and half, I think it fitting to get out and hang with the peeps.  There is a few things I would like to do.  Since I can’t decorate the house, or fix it up on the outside, I think I ll work on me.  I am considering a spa afternoon.  Ah, yes.

Ah, imagine cleaning..Looks like no cleaning there..Just need a muscled-bound hunk for a massage

I should also maybe excerise a bit more this week.  I am planning on seeing a movie or two.  Which means a large butter oil drowned barrel of popcorn, and chocolate.  I am drooling already.

Comes out this Friday!!!!

As much as I complain about the set-up we have now, truth is, really, at the moment, not much can change.  I am pretty sure I am not moving to Cape Breton.  Don’t get me wrong, it is a most gorgeous place to visit.  It is a great nature drive.  (Never past October).  And Str8 in the job hunt market…  Would make a great mini series on the blog though…  So for now, it is what it is.  I am sure we will figure things out. 

Having said that, the here and now, I am so goin to watch ‘Steven & Chris’ and maybe work on some of my digital photo projects.  Weekdays off always seem to feel different from weekends off.  And flying solo, I just may manage to get back to the cleaning and maybe, finally get to a happy balance. 

Today was more unusal then it has been lately.  I have to check to see if it is a full moon.  I had one lady chuckle, after I gave her the number to us at the Travel Redemption Centre. 

 “Redemption.. haha.. sounds like we’re being redeemed by God”, says this lady.  Ok, 20,000 points buys you a straightjacket.  I am pretty sure she should use it. 

 It was a strange day of questions and characters.  And end scene.  I guess my pointless, random post is just my way of saying, stay tuned.  Working on revealing and most inappropriate articles in the near future.  Am working on trying to follow the writing instructions of #matthewledrew, so also work in progress.  So, off I go to have a little time to unwind and get a good sleep.  Check you later. 

And remember, to be kind, and watchful.  It’s a jungle out there.

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Love & Quality Time: Companion

In addition, as mentioned, some things we share…

I got Str8 to do an evening of murder mystery game at my friend’s house.  It was a fabulous night and so fun.  Str8 had a blast.  “I don’t know what to say”.  (about playing along, in his character).  Wasn’t his idea of role-play, but meh..



One of my musical favourites is the UK boy band, the Wanted.  Ok, beyond the obvious that they look perfect, they are one of the most amazing boy bands EVER!  Justsayin…  Not a surprise, Str8 is now a fan.  I now enjoy more opera music as well.




Carlie and her family wanted to do the Halifax Ghost Walk Tour, and I asked Str8.  He wasn’t convinced at the idea, but enjoyed the evening as we walked the city, listening to creepy tales. Naturally, we spent a night out with friends, and enjoyed doing something different-together.



One of the Canadian Films we saw, ‘Splice’, was really good.  We loves movies, and share common interests.  So, I take him to domestics, and he drags me to see the sagas of ‘Twilight’ and ‘Harry Potter’…..ya I know, Mr. Str8.. so very Str8 right?




This was the hook for our pastime of feeding the critters.  We happened upon this little guy at the canteen, eating ice cream cones.  And yes, that is Str8 trying to over feed him.



A compromise falling under the shared interests of health, food, and movies.  I got Str8 into healthier eating.  So, we prepared this snack together, to settle down to watch a movie. 


And of course, I got him into the gay club.  Not really a fave of mine anymore.  (I have been in more clubs, more than I care to think about!)  There is only one here in Halifax, not like Toronto, where I was a regular at the old Club Colby’s, the Tool Belt, Woody’s…So, we love to dance.  Great quality time…. Str8 is still rather green, so we do the bar once in awhile.

The pastimes that we still have independently of each other, (though we often do these in the same room, at the same time).. is Str8’s obsession with his video games. I think this conquest is played more in the bedroom than any other conquests…





My digital photo art is my thing, and I do a show for Str8 every so often.  He is interested, despite the shit my boyfriend says….

So, be open and share things of interest with others.  You never know how much fun it could be.  And always better to share with the one you love.

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Love & Quality Time (aka the Things We Do for Sex)

Spending quality time with someone, is an important part of human development.  We all know about belonging, and needs.  Some of us have more social skills then others.   (We all knew folk like that..hell, we could be them even).  There is as many things we like to share, as there are people to share them.  Friends always have it easy.  I know the friends I can watch ‘Sex and the City’ with, or ‘Glee’, do dinners, movies, drink, run the roads, or do a spa night.  Once you cram a Samantha, Charlotte, or Miranda, (or even a Carrie),  into a significant other…and sex…it gets a little complex. 

Beyond Abraham Maslow, John Curtis Gowan, and Henry A. Murray, humans in relationships usually will find themselves doing things they may not like to do, in order to fulfill certain needs.  Yes, let us be frank.  (“I’m not Frank, but just don’t call me Shirley”, Str8 once said.  He broke out into a fit of laughter, thinking he was funnier than Leslie Nielsen from ‘Airplane’.  I rolled my eyes and gave him my Diva “oh fuck”).  We will allow ourselves to do things that we may not really ever do, thanks to getting regular supply of nookie. 

While courting, Str8 was more than willing to take me out, meet up with my friends for drinks and half price h’ordeuvres, and listen to us complain about work.  We did restaurants at lest twice a month.  Movies.  We would play favourite songs for each other, watching the videos on YouTube.  Sit on the deck, and star-gazer with a glass of wine.  Ah, the good old days.

Now-a-days, I have been a soundboard for him about video games.  He explains them to me, thinking my hovering over him is a sign of interest.  (I do this to either bug him or annoy him  into not playing).  I have also taken to try to show some interest.  I have sat to watch him play.  Encourage him.  Scream at zombies.  Even played some with him.  On the other hand, I have taken to his interest in making homemade wine.  (It’s alcohol, after all.  And wine..a love we both share).  It’s something we do.  Even if he does most of the work, and I take orders.  (“hand me that towel”, “hold the tube”, “see this packet?  It is…”)  I feel like Igor, to his Count Dracula…  However, it is something we can do together.

I have in turn shared my pastimes of writing.  He is impressed with the blog, even if he says things like: “Do you think all those people really read your shit, or do they just happen on it by mistake?”     I know, I wish I could put into words how I feel about his support.  Or, my digital photo art.  He has been good with that. Even if he says things like:  “You did that?  Not bad.  What the fuck is it?”

This summer, we started a new thing.  On gorgeous days, in the heat and sun of summer, (the 3 days we were blessed with this year), we drive in to town to Point Pleasant Park.  And feed the squirrels.  Or, as a child, Str8 called them, ‘square-els’.  It is fun, and I have more squirrel photos than I do of him, or us together.  (Str8: “One picture each time we go is enough.  You starting a fucking blog about squirrels?”)

In the winter, we started watching back-to-back episodes of ‘Charmed’, from season 1.  We dissected the stories, check in IMDB for information (like Holly Marie Combs being pregnant juring filming), for conversation.  We shared our passion with my friend, Carlie, and her family. 

We also find making dinners a very good example of quality time.  We laugh, yell, and share a connection preparing foods.  And of course, we enjoy eating.  That goes without saying.  We make the time to take turns being the expert, and even though we have ‘shit my boyfriend says’ moments, we knew, that this is a positive thing.

I will take the quality time of watching science-fiction with Str8 on my laptop, any day.  I guess, really even in movies, we willing give in to each other’s interests, just to enjoy being with each other.  While patriotic myself, (Jenna, my NDP cap is off to you), for me, being an artist, I have made Str8 sit through Canadian films.  “Gunless’, ‘Splice’, ‘Mambo Italiano’ (which, being a gay movie, he loved, even without any sex scenes)..and I have sat through some groaner, low quality kung fu movies. 

My sister, has had her husband embrace her love of being on the road (a family trait), on the hunt for country auctions.  They galavant the countryside, making bids on boxes with hidden treasures (and junk),  and antiques.  They get to talk about the kids, work, family. He gets to enjoy her company, while she also gets to enjoy another passion, photography.  My brother-in-law, may make fun, but indulges her creativity, and is right there, sharing it.  It works for them now, as in an empty nest, they have found something productive to do. Together.  “It’s often the only way I can get him out of the house with me”, she said when they started this adventure.  “Otherwise, we would be in the house, watching a marathon of ‘Star Wars’, day in, day out.  I can’t fit into some of my clothes as it is now!”  I heard that sister!

I mean, I am not sure I could find myself being Katie Holmes-like to join Scientology, even for Tom Cruise.  (Sorry Tom).  Or find myself in the middle of croc territory, (no matter how much I love animals), like Terri did for Steve  ‘Crocodile Hunter’ Irwin.  (Sorry Terri).  However, I do enjoy every precious moment I have with the man I love, even if he is Str8.  And we all have learned our own limits when it comes to taking on our significant other’s interests.  That as humans, we are willing to make the case for companionship, and no matter how mundane, or exciting, we will do things for the ones we love.  More precisely, the truth is, that as Maslow said, we will do just about anything to get laid.  What?  It’s the nookie.  Right?

Paint it any colour you want, but humans are social creatures.  We thrive with interacting with others.  As creatures looking for companionship, we have so much to share.  It’s not about just the common interests, but the ones that are different.  Of all the reasons we will ourselves to share things together, is it just the prime directive of sex?  Do straight men really go to the opera just to sit next to their ladies?  Do ladies really suffer football just for the tight ends?  As much as it is for love?  Are we willing to try new things, for the sake of sex?  Or love?  Both?  What hobbies, interests, pastimes, adventures do you share with your partner?

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Str8 Dirty on Diva Clean: Companion

So, on a timely note, Str8’s sisters popped in to say hello, while I was at work. I had a coronary, thinking about people being in my house in it’s current condition.  Although I was told there was positive response, I am voting to tear through this place.  Kim and Aggie, please come on in!

just a point of reference from the article.





Lynda Reeves launched the home decor and design movement in Canada.  While not as well know as Martha Stewart, Lynda is more than just our version.  The House & Home empire is one of our best.



Lynda Reeves, Design Goddess





One of my idols







Reeves has the most taste of any decor designer I know.

and then

Steven Sabados and partner Chris Hyndman, recently







we have Steven Sabados and Chris Hyndman, gurus, design gods who started with their own firm, now helm their empire, based out of the studios at CBC, home to their highly rated and loved daytime talk show.

Their last true design series






They out grew their original TV series, Designer Guys, and let newer home gurus take the helm.  They had a short lived run with this one.

The Designer Guys







Back when they first started and helped to revolutionize design in Canada, and became celebrities as in the U.S., and overseas.

Hellen Buttigieg, organizational goddess








Personal coach, design diva, therapist.  I love this woman!!!







this lady knows how to get it done, and efficiently and neatly and fabulously.

Hellen's TV series






and this was the launch of the next great design empire to grace Canada.

one of her later design series.  Debbie has become a champion of good, and an angel to so many, with shows about helping people and surprising deserving ordinary folk






this one she helped young people get the chance to do good with their lives, by giving them the chance to learn on this reality like show the skills to build a new life.







a leader in do-it-yourself. loves her





her latest angel design series, where she surprises unsuspecting local heroes with suped up rooms and home renos.  She gets the community to do the work.

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Str8 Dirty on Diva Clean

“Cleanliness is next to Godliness”

OK?  I get the jist, but really?  Maybe past the Pearly Gates, but have you seen the universe lately?  My mother had drilled this into me, since i was a child.  Not unlike the world playing to death Ricky Martin’s ‘She Bangs’, like they didn’t know he was gay.     My mother worked as a chambermaid at the Westin Nova Scotian (well, at the time it was the Nova Scotian Hotel).  She was four-foot something, and was a clean freak.  By OCD proxy, I developed the trait as well…….     At least, the worst is when I have no life.  My house is clean and mostly tidy.  Add in a life, and recently, Mr. Str8, and not so much.

not my real throne, but just as clean

I hate dirty dishes sitting there, in the sink, all stinky and covered in slimy, cruddy substances.  Not unlike college bois after a kegger party.  I like my dishes like I like those college bois-clean enough to eat off of.

Wasted college bois..easy to flip.. but so messy

Similar to personal hygiene, tastes in food, music, movies..etc..a person’s clean habits can be very different for someone elses.  Differences in life experiences and variations on upbringing have Str8 and I pretty much at arm’s length, and meeting each other half way.

Kim & Aggie..visit Str8 at home?

For the most part (until recently), I was obsessed with trying to keep my mini-home up to the level of superior standards of the domestic Goddesses, Lynda Reeves, Steven & Chris (Sabados & Hyndman), Debbie Travis,  Hellen Buttigieg, Kim Woodburn and Aggie Mackenzie.  Ok, yes I must admit, even the Grande Dame Domestic Goddess of them all, Marth Stewart.  I find myself now, since Str8, following another great….Pigpen.

To be fair, since Str8 goes back and forth to work, we have this rather unsettled life.  (Kinda like Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, you know, before they went straight).  Because of the these stretches, it makes it more important when together, to be together, as it is so limited a time we have. Even if he will give into his gaming addiction while we are home together.. but that’s for another time.  I put off some of the extensive housework while he is here.  Then, I usually do not get to all the stuff I want to do, before he gets back.

My idols kept me sane, and motivated, as well as the filth.  I want the clean, tidy home, with pretty things.  Filth scares me more than how Nick Nolte looks after a mug shot.  I usually do basics regularly.  Full on crazy gay man cleanings before he gets to my place.

the celebrity representation of my dirty house nightmare

Str8, on the other side of the Mr. Clean soaked rag….     Lives in a tiny house (He had before we met).  Example of the differences: he has two glass tables in the dining area.  (I believe them to be glass tables, as you can barely see any of the top).  These are covered in junk.  Papers.  Toothpicks.  A Christmas card from 2002, among random things.  Last time I was there, we had to eat on folding TV trays he borrowed from a sibling…Yup.  Tables=piles.  Before this visit, while on MSN, I jokingly inquired as to when he last cleaned the bedsheets.  His reply caused a gag and I chucked a bit in my mouth a bit.  Thanks to my diva explosion, I discovered (by an intense feel and smell inspection), all the bedding (sheets and all blankets) were 1 day freshly laundered.  One for the diva.

Back to the dishes…As Str8 is on well water, what comes out of his taps is awful, putrid and not fit for human consumption. (I think this water was drunk by Kanye West-would explain a lot).  Str8 will build up in the sink, the objects he needs to wash, to do in one massive effort taking task.  I know, you are thinking, wow, that is really country!  For anyone who is in the known, it is the island portion of the province, called Cape Breton.  It’s like Str8 is a Crocodile Dundee, who likes to get his cream fresh from the straw…What?  I know you know what I mean.

At my place, I fly around like a Danny Tanner from ‘Full House’, trying to clean up after him.  Tea and wine spills.  (have you read the tea spill quote #shit my boyfriend says)?

Just like most things in life, when you deal with individuals, you deal with all of our unique qualities, tastes, backgrounds, nature, nurture, and level of comfort.  I find it cute and annoying.  I am very much a city boi, gay as the rainbow.  Str8 is, well…yeah, see, you get it.  Not that he is lacking in cleanliness.  His houseworking drive is as low as George Michael’s after a visit to the public lou, but his personal hygiene is impeccable.  (coiffed hair is paramount.  And that is another story).  I make light.  The truth is, while there may be a film of dust, a pile of junk on tables, clothes on the sofa, dishes in the sink, we make allowances for minor cleaning maintenance, for the chance to live life.  If I could live in the glossy pages of  Canadian House and Home, I would.  I would be a Stepford Wife.  Reality is, I live in a mini-home, and live my life.  No maids.  So, I make sure my stuff is clean, I keep my kitchen, bathroom and bedroom the most in check.

And as winter is soon to set back in, I ll have plenty of time to get my house neat and in order.  So I will take the time with Str8, and if there is a dust bunny I see, but haven’t had the OCD kick in to pick it up yet..meh.  I can do that tomorrow.  There may be a mess, and clutter, but as long as I can keep Kim and Aggie from showing up at my place, I will keep it so. However, I would be grateful, if someone would submit my name to Ms. Travis, for consideration on her CBC show, ‘All for One’. Thank you.


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Random Pix:Relationships

Str8 temper, byebye controller

as for the temper, that is a relationship we both have-with each other and ourselves..  I laughed and shook my head.. I have shattered many a glass, plate, bowl.. wall..

the healthy snack I got Str8 into eating

 and veggies and pita crips and cheese.  with tzatziki dressing (light) a relationship with Str8 n I and our own bodies.

two of my other crazies

and two members the family of bandits that took up in the shed.. sooo cute!!

Jasper, Charcoal and new kitty

Jasper, my other ginger, is the most dog kitty ever.. lapkitty.  His friend Charcoal is a sweetie, but the newest wild kitty friend of Jasper’s is the tiny little thing he let eat from the dish.  He is big suck… and I loves him..

my SATC gals

and the relationship with these fab gal pals (ok not a real relationship, but still)

Ahhh Toronto..

I miss the relationship with Toronto.. a relationship I am grateful I had the chance to have..

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Shit My Boyfriend Says-Str8 to the Gutter

Welcome to another exciting edition! Yay.  Submitted for you review, some more colourful and mad quotes.  I have been postponing in updating Mr. Str8, as to avoid the inevitable ego blowup.  Like bourbon, (or Conan O’Brien), I can only take it in a mini shot at a time.  Enjoy!

1) “No.  I’m not going to New Zealand.  Just my luck, I get there and the volcano erupts.  Fuck that!”

2) “Oh yeah, I brought down the broccoli seeds, so we can grow our own and save money.  They’ll grow in a pot full of potting soil, right?”

3) “I know.  You and everyone else is in love with me.  I would be too…”

4) “What do you mean I’m not romantic?  What the fuck was me driving you to and from work all those months?”

5) “I’m hungry.  I need something now….You take too long, like your Martha fuckin Stewart on sleeping pills.”

6) “Careful walking around.  I got pissed off at my game and smashed the controller.  It shattered from the bedroom to the kitchen.  Cheap shit.”

7) “Don’t touch my hair!  It took me too long to get it like this….”

8)  “Yeah.  I’m telling you, that guy is gay.  He’s so gay, makes you look like Brian Mulroney….Wait, he’s gay too.. fuck, you know what I mean.”

9) “Really?  YOU dated, and banged a chick?  She look like a man?”

10) “Drinking wine…You too?  Oh yeah.  I’m drinking the real stuff, not the shit I made there like you are.  Enjoy that?”

11) “No, you’re not buying those jeans.  You like Rosanne Barr greased into Celine Dion’s pants.” (to me….ya)


Filed under Humour, Quotes, Silly Me