Str8 vs. Diva: Battle of the Wits

Hello to you on a cool Tuesday morning.

As per events of the morning, I thought I would share some of the mad-capped moments we have, and sometimes spill in front of others.  Poor Carlie, she is one of the few subjected to the madness that is Mr. Str8 and I.

As customary on most mornings I work, while Str8 is on his days off, I tease him before getting out of bed to make breakfast.  And he usually ends up on his PlayStation 2 while waiting to eat.  I putter around, on the computer, and usually do something crazy and funny to get him to laugh.  This morning, I pounced on him while playing his game, and rubbed him all over his shirt.  I added a funny voice and told him he was too sexy.  He laughs and calls me a fool and asks if breakfast is ready.  I giggle and get back to the food.

I admit I am as addicted to my laptop as he is to his PS2.  I didn’t really think about the similarities, until later on.

The other part of the mornings, is usually the drive to the bus terminal.  Most days when Str8 is here, we drive in with Carlie.  Some days, she ll pick me up.  So we entertain her, and today was no different.  As I suspected, he launched into the replay of this morning, and having to push me out the door.

“And trying to get this one ready in the mornings, is like pulling teeth…” He says.

“…Really sexy teeth…” I interject.

“He can’t put down his laptop.  It’s like she’s having an affair!”  (He sometimes uses She instead of He).

“And your video game isn’t like your other slut eh?” I shoot back.  I glance to wink at Carlie, who is smiling.

“Well, at least I have fun with it.  It works.”

“Really?  And I don’t have fun with Sully?”  (I named my computer Sully)

“Look, your bus is here.”

“You are some lucky our bus is here!  Just go home and have fun with your slut.”

“Thank you. I will.”

“Kiss me ‘bye you cheatin gamer.”

“It’s like love/hate with you guys!” Carlie says, laughing.

“Oh, if you only knew how much love/hate…” I josh, winking at her and hurriedly kissed Str8.

     I thought about some of our exchanges.  I have to admit that it really can be a two-way street sometimes.  We have to keep each other in check.  So this time I have to push him.  But I need to have him keep me in line in an hour.  Relationships are funny.  Even more funny, is the random exchanges, plucked out to review.  So I have some of these examples, in a ‘He said…He said’ match.

1) ME: “Ah, hello?!  Breakfast is ready.  Eat it cold if you want, watev.”     VS.     MR. STR8: “Are you not ready yet?!  You’re gonna miss your bus.  Put the computer down!”

2) ME: “Wow.  Really?  Must of had a good day on the video game, conquering the universe.  Guess dinner is gonna be late..since I have to clean the sink full of dishes sitting here.”     VS.                                                                                                   MR. STR8: “Thought you said you cleaned up the house?  Looks the same as when I left- 4 days ago!”

3) ME: “Wow Honey, we had 8 litres of ice cream!”     MR.STR8: “I left you some.”     ME: “What?  8 tablespoons?!”    VS.                                                                    MR. STR8: “What do you mean you ate a whole loaf of bread in 3 days?  And no, I am not going to eat your stale crackers instead of toast!”

     Kind of makes me think that relationships are like a comedy duo.  There is always the funny one, and of course, there is the Str8.

Wayne and Shuster.

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Filed under Humour, Silly Me

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