Shit My Boyfriend Says-Str8 to the Gutter

Welcome to another exciting edition! Yay.  Submitted for you review, some more colourful and mad quotes.  I have been postponing in updating Mr. Str8, as to avoid the inevitable ego blowup.  Like bourbon, (or Conan O’Brien), I can only take it in a mini shot at a time.  Enjoy!

1) “No.  I’m not going to New Zealand.  Just my luck, I get there and the volcano erupts.  Fuck that!”

2) “Oh yeah, I brought down the broccoli seeds, so we can grow our own and save money.  They’ll grow in a pot full of potting soil, right?”

3) “I know.  You and everyone else is in love with me.  I would be too…”

4) “What do you mean I’m not romantic?  What the fuck was me driving you to and from work all those months?”

5) “I’m hungry.  I need something now….You take too long, like your Martha fuckin Stewart on sleeping pills.”

6) “Careful walking around.  I got pissed off at my game and smashed the controller.  It shattered from the bedroom to the kitchen.  Cheap shit.”

7) “Don’t touch my hair!  It took me too long to get it like this….”

8)  “Yeah.  I’m telling you, that guy is gay.  He’s so gay, makes you look like Brian Mulroney….Wait, he’s gay too.. fuck, you know what I mean.”

9) “Really?  YOU dated, and banged a chick?  She look like a man?”

10) “Drinking wine…You too?  Oh yeah.  I’m drinking the real stuff, not the shit I made there like you are.  Enjoy that?”

11) “No, you’re not buying those jeans.  You like Rosanne Barr greased into Celine Dion’s pants.” (to me….ya)

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4 Comments

Filed under Humour, Quotes, Silly Me

4 responses to “Shit My Boyfriend Says-Str8 to the Gutter

  1. LOL! Love the Roseanne in Celine’s jeans. Talk about your muffin top & camel toe!

  2. Too funny, yet again. Anyone who can drop the names Brian Mulroney, Celine Dion and Rosanne Bar (while maintaining perfectly coiffed hair) has a fixture on our so not straight list.

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