Thanks for the Open Box of Chocolates, Forrest, You Gump!

If life is like a box of chocolate, it would have a variety of flavours and textures to choose from, right?  So, then, how it is that sometimes you open this mythical box of delights, and all you get are the same damn selections?  Thanks for the Open Box of Chocolates, Forrest, You Gump!

So it seems for many of us, with the hope that variety will enrich us.  Jobs.  Purchases.  Relationships.  The boxes I have seen have had pretty limited offerings.  And with job hunting on my list, I am not impressed.

 And if you think of the world and all of it’s locations, one would think, ‘hey, this is decent.’  Who has been to a club lately?  Those bonbons, then,  seem way too narrow in fillings.  And they all contain nuts.  Hard, indigestible nuts.  Hard core insane nuts.  The kind of nuts only a starved squirrel would try to keep.  My single friends, (the straight ones), say that it is slim pickins, like someone called ‘buffet’ at 9pm, and any tasty dish was gobbled up.  The dried up, nasties seem to be left in the box.  And, as one female friend added, ‘have bite marks even’.  Eewww…

Jobs seem to also fall under the same tab.  Sad little pieces, virtually no real choices.  And for many of us, a hunt for employment is being done all at once.  Like a sale on meat.  Some how, the not-so-starving shoppers get the prime cuts, while the general public get: ‘cashier for plastic pet poop products’, or ‘wanted sales manager for industrial audio cassettes company’….wtf??? I thought that at least, there would be one really delicious morsel to sink my sweet tooth into.  Oh, I thought I had done just that.  An entry level position in the exciting world of travel.  (insert ‘ooohhh’ and ‘aaahhhh’ here).  Sure.  Then the box of chocolate turned into some bad tasting dollar store crap.  By a company of gnomes, that shall remain nameless…. dashing my hopes of a good career move.  And now, in a financially have-not city, I am one of many, left to get the equivalent of an expired sweet.  I am gay, people, an ARTISTE.. whom has been a d list celebrity for more years than even Kathy Griffin!!! I hate starving, have I mentioned this?  No creamy centre for me to enjoy here, just the stale hard taffy core that will chip a tooth.

It feels like a candid camera version of the ‘support local’ ideal.  Locally, selection, well, sucks.  And some funny looking host will pop out and stick a camera in my face.  I want Laura Secord options here people, not dollar store stock of choices.  Really? 

So, while I have my own box of chocolates in the relationship  aisle, I am still combing through the meager remains of a post discount sale in the box of job treats.  And take it from me, not all boxes of chocolates are created equal. 

Hoping your selections are delectable and sweet…… Thanks for the Open Box of Chocolates, Forrest, You Gump!

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Filed under Humour, Random, Rant, Silly Me

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