Dealing with customers via telephone service is a highly stressful job. It requires a level of decorum, finess and even higher levels of alcohol and or drugs. While usually frustrating, it is also amusing. There are many things that we have to say in response to callers, and an equal amount of things that we wish we could say. Here are some examples:
(the callers who never give anyone else a chance to speak, who enjoy cutting off the rep at every sylabol)
reallife reply: Thank you again, I apreciate you clarifying your email address for me again.
silent reply: Seriously? (after long dead air, caller says hello) Are you going shut your mouth at all, or do you want to do this yourself, you ignorant sod?
(you ask for the phone # you can call them back at if disconnected, and they reply with “this one”)
real reply: I appreciate that, however, I do not have a # here for you, could you please give your phone # to me, please and thank you?
silent reply: are you dammaged? What am I? Psychic? If I didn’t need your effing #, then why would I waste my breath asking for it?