Category Archives: gay

Took A Chance (a Love Lost)

We found each other and took a chance. We were alike, we were different.  I can remember the excitement, the anticipation to talk on video, the nerves making us giddy.  I can remember your eyes sparkling, and that grin that told me you liked me.  We started to share, flirting and opening up our hearts.

We found each other and took a chance. You traveled distance to meet me, and we meet face to face.  It was like I knew you, you were sent for me, and I for you.  The first touch, that first kiss, that first moment we stared into each other’s eyes. It was like two parts of a soul was reunited and made whole.

We found each other and took a chance. You traveled back and forth, we were separated by kilometres, but never in love, never in spirit. We had to take the times apart, to have the times together. You made the sacrifice and I made you know by all I could do that this was to be, that I wanted you, as you wanted me.

We found each other and took a chance. It was real, you and I, a relationship.  There was so much, we fell in love, we were in love.  There were moments that shadowed the light, moments of darkness blocking out this love we shared. Life is far from perfect, and somehow we came out, the light of love never went out.

We found each other and took a chance. Time was a river flowing on and on, and we the water running to explore the world ahead of us. And then there were rocks, and a vow broken. indiscretion ripped my heart, and for the love I knew we had, like water, we survived the storm, the waves that threatened love.  And we were strong, we were more in love.

We found each other and took a chance. We both had moments were we were less than perfect, taking turns to be negative, to upset the love we shared.  Human natures and personal natures were overcome, and we were still in love.

We found each other and took a chance. We became each other’s world, everything was the other. Every sight, sound, touch, taste. Every place and space. And then without warning, in a moment, in a nightmare, it was over, and you were willing to walk away.

We found each other and took a chance.  The chance was a game, and it ended, and like bomb of emotional shrapnel, we exploded, and here we are, apart, a soul ripped into two, bleeding and dying and alone without rescue. Me here alone, you there alone. And a crater now in place of the love filled hearts.  And now I shed tears, I drown in the pain and know, we found each other and took a chance, and we are lost and the last chance was passed. I will always love you.

 

 

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Wedded Bliss? A Rant on Marriage

Marriage (or wedlock) is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but is usually an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. Such a union, often formalized via a wedding ceremony, may also be called matrimony. Many cultures limit marriage to two persons of the opposite sex, but some allow forms of polygamous marriage, and some recognize same-sex marriage. In some conservative cultures, marriage is recommended or compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.

People marry for many reasons, including one or more of the following: legal, social, libidinal, emotional, economic, spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, the legal establishment of a nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of commitment.[1][2]The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. Some cultures allow the dissolution of marriage through divorce or annulment.  (as from wikipedia)

Recently, I learned of a gay couple who seem to be engaged, as per a social media status update.  I am very much a supporter of marriage, gay or otherwise, in relation to love, and the commitment of two individuals.  I am a romantic, believe in love, and the soul mate ideal.  The above two paragraphs are from wikipedia. In the second, it gives reasons for many to decide to be married.  I do not presume to know the workings of someone else’s relationship….however…

It has taken way too long for humanity to deal with each other, to have a fair and equal world.  I know, not there yet but a work in progress.  Rights granted, blah blah…

My issue is that this:  If we fight for rights and equality, then shouldn’t we have some level of respect for the things we have?  Freedom of will and liberty is great.  But if gays can marry, should not we attempt to honourable? 

Straight couples have enjoyed the highs and lows of marriage from the beginning.  And while there are those that disrespect the institution and what it stands for, and there are those, as well, who value its ideals and beliefs.  With so many hetros on their own narrow view point, it makes gay marriage difficult if it is not done for the purest of reasons: love.  Man/woman marriages have been for love, money, and a myriad of reasons.  Let us face this: gay rights may picking up speed in our world, but stereotypes remain.  Gays are seen as dirty, promiscuous, and an afront to the meaning of marriage.  So, if a couple of gays who are looking to get hitched for concerns of finance, or status, rather than love and being only 2 joined in intimacy, then, how in the name of all that is Elton John, can we get away from being the demon if we put it all out there?  that we say, meh, marriage ok even if it’s not for love.  Really? 

Why would a couple of sleep-around-seths want to get married?  Sure, makes senes for the straights.  Look  step-ford family, raise kids, but really, you are schlanking the rest of the suburban street, at  the ‘swappers’ party.  You would need marriage to be the beard, if you all are bed hopping.  Well, gays do that regardless.  Unless we got kids, there is no real need to get into matrimony other than love.  Ok you may say, not so.  Seriously?  ok then, let’s see.  Money/finances?  How about investments?  RRSPs?  Will marriage make this couple I know of better?  Hardly.  If they give up trying to win the skank equivalent of the Best Picture Oscar, then meh, ok.  They marry for love.  Forsake all others.  I ll buy them a blender.

However, if we think that just because we now can marry, should we?  The straights have the corner on seedy, secret, scandalous sexual affairs of married couples.  Really, for us gays, we accept this, rather embrace this, and damn many of us are good at being tramps.  So, maybe thanks to that fabulous other red head Julia Roberts and that fine (well, not so recently) Richard Gere, the gays got the marriage bug.  That even though they are amateur porn stars, they too can live the dream. 

If gays make the committment to tie the knot, then why can’t they do it for the spirit and the letter of marriage?  And make it about romance and not how many times you can play hide wet  twirl the cabaret stick…. And if you detected some resentment, you would be right.  I have resigned myself to the knowledge that unless Mr. Str8 is left a vegetable and unable to stop me from forcing him to marry me… I will never be a bride.  And I am pretty ok with it.  I dream of being married.  I just really think those gays who count more sex partners than jelly beans while in a relationship should really just stay the course.  And leave marriage to the gays who are a better example of human equality, who truly are the marrying kind.  Those of us who believe in love, romance and being the only two,  in a party of two.   By the powers of blogging,  I now pronounce you rant and rant, and may you may rant on….

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In Defense to ‘A Man Rant’

So, as I was making fun of Mr. Str8 for his affair with his video games, I feel like I must now share with everyone this point.

To be fair, let me say this: I do think video games are a good and positive outlet for his attentions.  There are far worse ways to have attention placed on something else.  He enjoys it and it has given us moments of quality time, playing together, or him explaining to me his strategies.  Interests can often bring couples together, if they are open to sharing.

My ‘video game’ happens to be photography.  And I can compare this because it is yet to be fruitful, or outside of my own enjoyment, I like it.  I could shoot thousands of pictures.  And while Str8 gets lost in his games, I get lost in having a camera in front of my face.

So, with my old Olympus pocket camera, I subjected Str8 to endless picture taking.  Every venture out of the house, in the car, on walks, on vacation, at the bar, I had it with me.  In the first couple of months when we were dating, he indulged me by posing for me.  Maybe I wore that off quickly.  He got tired and annoyed.  “That camera could end up in pieces if you keep it in my face.”  That was his first admission of annoyance.

On our first vacation together, to PEI, I was attached to it, and could barely put it down.  He gave me warning looks on the drive to the island.  We had stayed in Pictou Nova Scotia the first night, and minutes after being in our room at the Inn, I was snapping pix of the room, angle after angle, and like a fashion photographer, I was focusing in on him.  I remember him standing there, and with a menacing face, said “Did you want to live through the night?”

On our walkabout, in town, I would lag behind, and Str8 would keep walking.  I had to run to catch up.  After exploring the town, once we were back to our room, Str8 said “Oh, and by the way your camera may not survive the night.”

At a random point while in Charlottetown, on our walkabout, Str8 stopped walking.  “Do you think any of your pictures will be any good?”

Once in the park, while feeding squirrels, Str8 moved on, and like a child, I was alone.  I found him, and he shook his head. “At this rate you will be kidnapped, molested and murdered.  You’ll like one of those options maybe…”

The first night Str8 got in after I got my new camera, I had it in his face for the first 3 minutes.  “If you want to keep that new camera, you’ll get it out of my face.”

he digs my digit photo art and gets upset if I don’t hear him.  Role reversal.  So, I don’t get his video games, and Str8 doesn’t get my creative addiction with the camera.

And if this seems like a weak comparison, well I admit, it is.  My camera compulsion is close to but not like Str8’s video fixation.  So, really, the ‘men’ of the relationship will have their obsessions, even if the ‘females’ have their.  The men will always be men.  But for those of us as the women, we will secretly know, we are the better halves of the whole…

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A Man Rant

So, Honey Badger (she selected the name, I liked it) and I got to comparing some notes on our men.  Honey reminisced on her ex, and I, on you guessed it, Mr. Str8, about the annoying behaviour of some  men’s video game addiction…

Honey: Tell everyone about our rant (laughing)

Me: So Str8 has picked up another  Playstation video game. He came down for weekend.  I worked on the Sunday, so we confirmed, on the way into town in the morning, that I was off at 6:30.  He said he would leave at 6:20.  I texted him after 6pm.  After I was walking to meet him, I get a text “u off at 6:30 or 7:30?”  He got caught up playing this game, and was over 30 minutes late…..so not impressed.  Then, the very next night we agreed to meet at the market.  I texted him ten minutes away from the store.  He showed up late, 20 minutes later.  Oh, and why you may ask?  Yup, frickin video game!  Was I a happy princess?  Not so much.  He being a j-a, laughed it off. Men!

Marla: (laughs)

Honey: Ya, A-H would play his video games all night, for hours, and stay up late, even though he had to be up at 6am, he would play past 1am!  stupid.

Me: Right?  And ok, if that’s not bad enough, I leave Str8 for the day, and know he is on that blasted thing all day, and when I get home, there are dishes, and  bags and wrappers all over my counter like some junk food atom bomb went off!  It’s not like there is a garbage can under the sink, oh no, that one just leaves a mess like a teenage junkie!

Honey: (laughing) I know, they lose all sense, wasting their time.

Me: Trust me, just like Carlie said, we could strip off and do a lap dance and get pushed away like we don’t exist.  Zombies the lot of em.

Honey: Why are men like that?

Marla: Men are like overgrown kids.

Me: More or less. I don’t get it.  If I don’t respond to Str8 when he wants me to, I get flack! Now, ladies, you have to understand men are designed by biology to be the hunter.  So they hunt, watch sports, play video games or build things to keep them active, no longer the caveman that actually brought back the bacon.  Housework, cooking and cleaning, that is not a man’s job.  Do they not realize, but not paying attention and doing what we want, that they make it worse for them?

Honey: That pisses me off, because when I used to try to get him to bed, he would bitch and complain, and sulk.  (laughing)  Hey, wait, but you are still a man.. so…

Me: Gurl, I i-dent-ify…it’s not my fault God gave me the pole and not the valley.  It is a wonderful curse… I get to…

Honey: And that is where you should end this rant before it get’s triple x… Say ‘see you later’

Me:….oh… (pout) men.. I will leave it at that… see you all later..

 

We all have things that annoy us, and we can annoy our partners.  But for love, we may complain, but at the end of the day, we secretly look back and laugh.  It’s the little things that make a relationship.  No one is perfect.

 

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Str8 to Valentine’s (Or: Valentine, Schmalentine)

Now that St. Valentine’s Day has passed into the good night of history for 2012, just wanted to do a quick update on Mr. Str8.  He has gotten used to the buzz around being the subject of posts, and while he will never confirm this, it is my view that he has started to write his own dialogue.  (at least in his head).

With his working until Monday, the 13th, he arrived late that night.  And in passing, mentioned that it was Valentine’s, the very next day. I had decided to make an effort this year (last year we pretty much ignored it).  I had a card, chocolates and a bottle of wine ready to guilt give him. 

While at work, I tease texted him:

Me: Happy Valentine’s Day again!

Mr. Str8: same to you

Me: And this is the romantic I never expected from you….

Mr. Str8: LOL

(this caused an eye twitch in my right eye, coupled with an eye roll, that popped a vein in my forehead)

After work, on the way home, I texted him regarding dinner.  I was hoping to actually get a dinner out, as I was plotting hoping that by the inequity of my surprise gift, he would concede to finally going out for a real restaurant dinner.  And by text:

 (Footnote: with the city in a transit strike, I am carpooling with the only co-worker who lives in the sad, far far away bedroom community I am standed in.  He is pretty much a straight version of Mr. Str8 -from the same general area in Cape Breton, with the same general mentality- and we were en route to Costco, to buy his girlfriend roses)

Me: so wats for dinner?

Str8: I dont know, wat r u making for me?

Me: and I was thinking u werent gonna be romantic, silly me….

Str8: anything u want?

Me: maybe we ll just eat watever, and go out for dinner tomrw?

Str8: (after a pause)  well, dont feel to go out tonight, we ll see about tomorrow

Me: ok, great…then delivery tonight?  Had pizza at work for lunch, so no pizza

Str8: what else is there?  Fine, how about Chinese?

Me: Yes please.  lol

Str8: Since I am starving, and feel like Chinese, we will get Chinese. 

So, we ended up ordering in, and  without complaint.  I tried to pull for better material, but to no avail.  Safe to say, there wasn’t much conversation.

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Wildlife of..: the Gay Bar Part 2-(A gaysexandthecity expose)

In tonight’s  episode of Wildlife, we will look at the those elusive creatures that inhabit the often sketchy territory, known simply as the  ’gay bar’.  This ain’t your parent’s Nature of Things, to be sure.

This habitat has become extremely popular among it’s wildlife.  In many parts of the world, these ‘watering holes’ have sprung up all over, growing in proportion to that of the demand for space, and variety.

While any gay can be found in these hot spots, there are many examples of the gays that frequent regularly.  And we look at the most common groups in which make the gay bar a significant part of their routine.  Scientists believe that these specific breeds of the gays, are instinctively drawn into the gay bar for gratification.  Tonight we will look at the freak’omos.

freak’omos:  Of the various breeds of the gays, these are among some of the most interesting.  They often are free spirited and move from other groups, settling in this variation.

Freak'omos want to play with you

Often premiscious, and adventurous, they enjoy layers of intimate encounters, rooted in the fetish, and kink.  Leather, chains, make-up, role-playing, S&M, they seperate themselves from the rest of the gay bar gays, making many of these other members take a stand-offish postition, unless they are seeking to experiment with this brand of behaviour.

They will often worship idols such as Adam Lambert, Lady Gaga, and the genres of music such as goth, rock,  alternative rock, grunge, and glam. 

Adam Lambert- an Icon

Outside of the gaya bar, many will maintain a mild manner ‘normal’ persona.  Others, will still dress in tribal freak attire, with colouring of their hair in blues, purples, pinks, greens, and oranges. 

They can be found at vintage shops, and will enjoy comic books, the occult, and on-line gaming.  They will engage you in conversation that weaves from intelligent to  gibberish, and be encorherent at times when they are intoxicated.

a common sighting of freak'omo gays

the freak’omos, (freak homosexuals), is termed, in an effort to classify these pecticular brand of sexually open minded and creative gays.  At the bar, they will enjoy ‘performing’ for the other gays, and will gravitate to the Queens, and the Bearitallers.

 

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Families Still

Weary bones, and breath short, he sat upon the worn wood chair.  He was of all things, sharp as a blade, and surely ageless in age.  Skin leathery, patchy and bumped.  Smells not always as nice as hot chocolate or such, yet always gave senses of love and sanctuary.

As was the old and the young, both tend to temper tantrums, and both had eyes that sparkled with teasing humour, again the designed designing of a story.  Sometimes more truth than of imagination.  For the tales of true, he the teller would gather will and once begun, began to relax.  Brilliant colours of words wonderful, no longer struggled to be free, entranced and engaged.  Of the stories that were of fancy flights, the most amazing adventures could almost be seen.

Life was different, this fact set the tone, as he continued.  Not all were accepted, not all equal of creation.  As memories manifested emotions, as vivid as simply looking at Christmas tree above a sea of gifts.  From the eyes of youth.  There was no hatred in such blissful history.  The generations before that have come and gone.  The lessons of life, all children knew.

He was a person of old.  Life long and full.  Love of his, and his love, here, as if always it was, not if as it was secret.  A grand father of a grandfather, he and the lifelove, his love of life, assure you accurate and true it is, a man and a man.  Strange and this was not so in his course of living.  Normal normal was for all, all for normal and all agreed, as if in a mirage, no one was acted upon, treated bad.

A grandfather, sharing dreams and true events, raised a family with his livemate, his man of all men.  Turn, as in now he as teacher, lessons teaching, to a new, brand new generation.  Children of love.  Families, different each to compare, but families still.

And such was, is the dream, true events.  Children grow up, and know of nothing of hate.  Because the ones that are old, can upon the minds of generations new, share of how it was, real of experiences, real of truth.

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Wildlife of..: the Gay Bar Part 1-(A gaysexandthecity expose)

In tonight’s debut episode of Wildlife, we will look at the those elusive creatures that inhabit the often sketchy territory, known simply as the  ‘gay bar’.  This aint your parent’s Nature of Things, to be sure.

This habitat has become extremely popular among it’s wildlife.  In many parts of the world, these ‘watering holes’ have sprung up all over, growing in proportion to that of the demand for space, and variety.

While any gay can be found in these hot spots, there are many examples of the gays that frequent regularly.  And we look at the most common groups in which make the gay bar a significant part of their routine.  Scientists believe that these specific breeds of the gays, are instinctively drawn into the gay bar for gratification.  They have identified these 3 most common of the gays:

the hag fag gays party with their gurls..but looks like these two may pair off...

The Hag Fags: are mostly attractive, but sometimes not so much.  They will only venture into the gay bars with the support of members of the opposite sex (females, for those who only study the gays), those friends that will allow this breed to pretend that they are not interested in availability of potential mates.  These use their female companions as winghags.  If they have the opportunity to hook up with a hottie, they will abandon the hags without much fanfare.  They in fact, are actually performing a form a mating ritual, on the mating display ground, known as the ‘dancefloor’.  They shake, shimmy, grind, flaunt, tease, wink, and many can be seen making a rather spectacle of themselves. They feel safe with these female pack members, providing a cover for their own non-commitment and lack of desire to mate with the various other members of the gays in the gay bar. They, like most gays, have high level of ego, and can be known to flirt on the dancefloor.  Unless they set sights on a specific gay of interest, they may get lucky.  Mostly, the hag fags are out to dance.

the gawker (stalker) gay- make no mistake, it looks fine, but it is out to feed. Hi, what's your size?

The Gawkers (AKA stalkers): This breed of gays, will observe, and ‘scope’ out, or ‘cruise’, the available selections of other gays, waiting to entice a gay who returns the interest.  They will consume as much alcohol as they can, and stalk a partner for pleasure.  They will instigate conversation, flirt with and attempt to attract a companion.  They will attempt to seperate their intended victim random encounter, from it’s group.   They are usually seeking a one night stand, and like a lioness, can locate the easiest of prey. And hoping for the best abilities… These pleasure seekers are more than just responding to basic sexual urges.  They are much more demanding.  Please be cautious. This breed can be aggressive.

these are dangerous, egoist gays-admire from afar...

Narcisissies: These are among the most crafty and manipulative of the gays.  They appear to be extremely vain, well-groomed and self-absorbed.  They will spend time looking at themselves in mirrors.  Apply make-up and lip gloss, fix hair, and take pictures of themselves with their cell phones.  They often will travel in packs consisting of hag fags and their hags, other narcisissies, dancefloor divas, gossip gurls, and sometimes, the daddies.  They will expose as much of their best features as they can, while mingling and working a trail of their pheromones in an effort to maximize attention and interest.  They will flirt, behave in wild and what they believe to be carefree actions.  They are generally the most feminine of gays.  They are not full fledge queens, or drags, but these young, experimenting gay youths will gender bend, by incorporating female clothing, accessories, and actions of a female in heat.   Be warned: these gurlybois will play with other, as well as other attractive youths, but will seek out sugar daddies to care for them. Do Not Buy These gays Drinks, unless you are willing to risk humiliation, as they will ‘work it’, and then find something more attractive and financially secure, and leave you frustrated.

 And stay tuned for part 2,  of the wildlife of the gay bar.  Coming soon.  Check local listings and time zones for the best chance to learn more about the gays in the bar.

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