Category Archives: Quotes

Status Quotes 1: Surviving Heartbreak

even when i am not whole, even when i may not being fully alive, even if I’m less than perfect, i know there are those who wont forsake me, and who will take me in their lives… may i give back

how much, how long, without.. when will it be time…to say what needs to be said, to make a choice to stop being frozen in time

dear god… please give me strength.. or numbness, cos the pain of loss and confusion is more than I can bare

pretty sure i am lucky.. supportive friends and family…. i know i still am loved..unlike the love that was to be forever

bit of news to make me sleepy.. can only hope sleep wont keep avoiding me, like the man who vowed love, and then walked away

I wish I knew, I wish I could, I wish I will… But all I wish, will never be, since the love of my life walked away in silence, and left my heart broken and deaf

smiling is the emotional equivalent of applying make up to a bruise.. everyone knows no matter how hard you try to conceal it…

love may burn like hot water, but unlike water you can’t turn it off like a tap

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the Movie Extravaganza Pre-Easter Weekend Str8 Rumble

Last week on my week day off, we went to the movies.  Now, this is a rare treat of late, that Mr. Str8 would be willing to spend that much money other than shopping on Ebay for video games and replacement controllers for ps2.  (Have you seen the brutal murder of one such controller?)  When I confirmed I would be off for the day, he mentioned the movie idea. Here we were sitting in the kitchen, on our laptops, and I nearly fell off my chair, while flashes of colours assaulted my brain.  I steadied myself with a hand on his arm.

“A what?  Sorry, I thought you actually mentioned going to the movie theatre?”

“Ya, I did.  What’s your issue?”  Str8 stares at me like I transformed into a three headed Richard Simmons.

“Really?  Are you playing a sick belated April Fool’s Day joke on me or are you serious?”

“Don’t take it like it’s some kind of real date night shit or anything.  I wanna see if there is anything good.  Find out what’s playing.”

I know what you are thinking.   How is it that I’m the luckiest gay to have such a warm, fuzzy and awesomely romantic bf?  I keep trying desperately to find that out.  What did I ever do to deserve a real fairy tale love?  So, I loaded up Empire Theatre’s site faster than you could say ‘j’ (as in jackass…), or not as fast as Mariah Carey’s movie crashed and burned…

We really had two options.  I swiveled Sully (laptop) and showed him the trailer for ‘John Carter’.

“that’s it!  We are seeing that one!” Str8 exclaimed with a sloppy grin.

“Ok…or what about…”

“Wax in the ears?  I said that one.  What part of ‘that’s it’, did you not get?”

“What part of your computer will come in contact with which part of your body, in about.. say.. 5 seconds?…..”

“The bottom, and my head?”

“Yes, and no- your head is too hard and thick for an empty container…but your lap is exposed…”  He quickly pulled his chair forward so his belly mashed on the table’s edge.  I glared at him.

“I love you?”  He blew a kiss.

“Jackass..”  I coughed into my hand.

John Carter.. 4 thumbs up

So without bloodshed, we decided.  And then the morning of the Great Movie Adventure of 2012, I repeatedly reminded him of the time, a perpetual countdown to the departure time, and ETA.  And the wax from my ears must have travelled out of my ear canal, slugged itself along the pillows the night before, right into his superior tunnels, because I couldn’t pry him off his video game in time.

“Ok, save the game for the love of RuPaul already, we need to leave!” I yelled.  I hate getting to the theatre late.  Major pet peeve.  So, with barely time to spare, I finally dragged Str8 out of the house, and off on the road.  Getting into Bayer’s Lake was not easy.  Direction-challenged Str8, missed the turn off.  I directed him around, and he took the very first right, and kept going.

“Ok, the theatre is right there, and u didn’t turn.” I steamed.  A U-ie and back around… he grumbled and I not happy.  We got in to the theatre, a few minutes into the start.

“See we made it.”  Str8 said.  I glared at him.

“Movie is on. No talking.”  And we enjoyed a most exciting and great movie.  I cannot believe that ‘John Carter’ was not a smash hit.  I loved it.

 

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ReRev Elev: Str8 Music Quote Quickie

That hook that makes u glow, the chorus that makes you scream it out loud while driving in your car, the rift that makes you air guitar in a line-up.  Music moves our souls.  Music is the haven of the gay.  And the straight.  And Divas and Str8s…

Our meshing of music tastes was not as bad as I thought it would be. I expected more twangy suicidal country, to compete with my dance.   Str8 has the country thing.  But the big surprise was the opera.  And there has been common likes.  And ‘wft’?  And some of our music centered exchanges:

1) Str8:  ”What the fuck is that?”

Me: “What?

Str8: “What you’re listening to.”

Me: “It’s classical-metal-house-fusion”

Str8: “It’s shit, more like!”

2) Str8: “Ava Maria…”  (singing, loudly, and painfully off key)

Me: “Can we not really?  It’s July…stop with torturing me with freakin Christmas music!”

Str8: (scolls through his Itunes, clicks, and starts singing again to ‘White Christmas’)  “Now that’s Christmas music.”

Me: “No, that’s your funeral theme song if you keep it up..”

3) Sr8: “Huh..who’s singing that?”

Me: “Oh, the best boyband ever-the Wanted!  look.”  (I bring up Googles images for the Wanted)

Str8: (eyes light up, smiles, pushes me as he get a closer look)  “I like them.”

Me: “Them?…Or their music?”

Str8: “Them…and the music.  How do I get them?”

Me: “Them?… Or their music?”

Str8: “Them.  But I’ll settle for their music.”

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Why I Wont Be a Parent

Standing in a long line up at the only Tim Horton’s open for blocks from work on Good Friday, with members of peewee hockey and family swarming the joint (it is one of the designer Cold Stone Creamery ice cream cafes)….. I turned to my co-worker on the way out, and grumbled my intolerance.

Me: It’s some tournament or something… I cannot imagine having the money to have a kid in sports.  It must be bloody expensive!

C0-worker: You are right, it is not cheap.

Me: This is why I don’t have kids, man!  Firstly, I would have to work round clock to afford to feed it, and clothe it!  Let alone letting it participate in a team… I would be like “Jr., if you want to play sports, get a job and pay for it yourself!”

Co-worker: (laughing)

Me: No, I’m not kidding!  If my seven-year old asked to play, then he could work for it.  Kathy Lee Gifford had kids making her clothes.  Rose made Gypsy Lee Rose earn her keep….

Co-worker: (laughing, yet appalled)  I don’t think it works that way.  That’s not really legal here.. and as for Rose, I still pretty much think that isn’t legal any more either…

Me: Short of raising it in the Fourth World, I guess you’re right.  Child stars at least don’t have the time to join sports, what with the hours acting on set.. No guarantees it could be cute enough or smart enough to perform.  Even if it is mine.  Ok, well, it would need to earn it’s keep then.  ‘Hey you, clean the house and don’t forget the gutters!  And tomorrow, you’d better be re-tiling the roof if you want to go to the finals with the team!’

Co-worker: (still laughing) You wouldn’t?

Me: Hey, gotta work for it… Ask Donald Trump.  It could help with the groceries too… ‘ok you, take the bags to the car…. no, no cart for you mr. all-star, you are carrying all those bags, and hurry up’…

Co-worker: (shaking his head)  U really shouldn’t have kids.  Hey, You never mentioned lemonade stands, dog walking…

Me: They would never make enough cash that way!  It would drop and spill the drink, or lose all the dogs, and then I would have to pay more out to fix it’s mistakes…. Ah, I  see your point. Well, this is one reason why I won’t be a parent. (sigh)

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Wedded Bliss? A Rant on Marriage

Marriage (or wedlock) is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but is usually an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. Such a union, often formalized via a wedding ceremony, may also be called matrimony. Many cultures limit marriage to two persons of the opposite sex, but some allow forms of polygamous marriage, and some recognize same-sex marriage. In some conservative cultures, marriage is recommended or compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.

People marry for many reasons, including one or more of the following: legal, social, libidinal, emotional, economic, spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, the legal establishment of a nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of commitment.[1][2]The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. Some cultures allow the dissolution of marriage through divorce or annulment.  (as from wikipedia)

Recently, I learned of a gay couple who seem to be engaged, as per a social media status update.  I am very much a supporter of marriage, gay or otherwise, in relation to love, and the commitment of two individuals.  I am a romantic, believe in love, and the soul mate ideal.  The above two paragraphs are from wikipedia. In the second, it gives reasons for many to decide to be married.  I do not presume to know the workings of someone else’s relationship….however…

It has taken way too long for humanity to deal with each other, to have a fair and equal world.  I know, not there yet but a work in progress.  Rights granted, blah blah…

My issue is that this:  If we fight for rights and equality, then shouldn’t we have some level of respect for the things we have?  Freedom of will and liberty is great.  But if gays can marry, should not we attempt to honourable? 

Straight couples have enjoyed the highs and lows of marriage from the beginning.  And while there are those that disrespect the institution and what it stands for, and there are those, as well, who value its ideals and beliefs.  With so many hetros on their own narrow view point, it makes gay marriage difficult if it is not done for the purest of reasons: love.  Man/woman marriages have been for love, money, and a myriad of reasons.  Let us face this: gay rights may picking up speed in our world, but stereotypes remain.  Gays are seen as dirty, promiscuous, and an afront to the meaning of marriage.  So, if a couple of gays who are looking to get hitched for concerns of finance, or status, rather than love and being only 2 joined in intimacy, then, how in the name of all that is Elton John, can we get away from being the demon if we put it all out there?  that we say, meh, marriage ok even if it’s not for love.  Really? 

Why would a couple of sleep-around-seths want to get married?  Sure, makes senes for the straights.  Look  step-ford family, raise kids, but really, you are schlanking the rest of the suburban street, at  the ‘swappers’ party.  You would need marriage to be the beard, if you all are bed hopping.  Well, gays do that regardless.  Unless we got kids, there is no real need to get into matrimony other than love.  Ok you may say, not so.  Seriously?  ok then, let’s see.  Money/finances?  How about investments?  RRSPs?  Will marriage make this couple I know of better?  Hardly.  If they give up trying to win the skank equivalent of the Best Picture Oscar, then meh, ok.  They marry for love.  Forsake all others.  I ll buy them a blender.

However, if we think that just because we now can marry, should we?  The straights have the corner on seedy, secret, scandalous sexual affairs of married couples.  Really, for us gays, we accept this, rather embrace this, and damn many of us are good at being tramps.  So, maybe thanks to that fabulous other red head Julia Roberts and that fine (well, not so recently) Richard Gere, the gays got the marriage bug.  That even though they are amateur porn stars, they too can live the dream. 

If gays make the committment to tie the knot, then why can’t they do it for the spirit and the letter of marriage?  And make it about romance and not how many times you can play hide wet  twirl the cabaret stick…. And if you detected some resentment, you would be right.  I have resigned myself to the knowledge that unless Mr. Str8 is left a vegetable and unable to stop me from forcing him to marry me… I will never be a bride.  And I am pretty ok with it.  I dream of being married.  I just really think those gays who count more sex partners than jelly beans while in a relationship should really just stay the course.  And leave marriage to the gays who are a better example of human equality, who truly are the marrying kind.  Those of us who believe in love, romance and being the only two,  in a party of two.   By the powers of blogging,  I now pronounce you rant and rant, and may you may rant on….

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therealbryon Twitter Popular Mini Quotes

Gay In The CIty @therealbryon

1)Time waits for no one….just like owing $ to a bookie…it ll hurt more the longer u put it off..

2)Holy Richard Simmons!  Is that an infection, or did you eat all the Tim Hortons from Vancouver to Halifax?…

3)Its valentines, u can tell by the velvet handcuff cover shortage in town..even freaks like it soft today..

4)Rupaul didn’t die…who named u queen?…

5)Ladies..he is a ‘mo when he gushes over ur new pumps..n says ur just like Carrie Bradshaw..

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Str8 to Valentine’s (Or: Valentine, Schmalentine)

Now that St. Valentine’s Day has passed into the good night of history for 2012, just wanted to do a quick update on Mr. Str8.  He has gotten used to the buzz around being the subject of posts, and while he will never confirm this, it is my view that he has started to write his own dialogue.  (at least in his head).

With his working until Monday, the 13th, he arrived late that night.  And in passing, mentioned that it was Valentine’s, the very next day. I had decided to make an effort this year (last year we pretty much ignored it).  I had a card, chocolates and a bottle of wine ready to guilt give him. 

While at work, I tease texted him:

Me: Happy Valentine’s Day again!

Mr. Str8: same to you

Me: And this is the romantic I never expected from you….

Mr. Str8: LOL

(this caused an eye twitch in my right eye, coupled with an eye roll, that popped a vein in my forehead)

After work, on the way home, I texted him regarding dinner.  I was hoping to actually get a dinner out, as I was plotting hoping that by the inequity of my surprise gift, he would concede to finally going out for a real restaurant dinner.  And by text:

 (Footnote: with the city in a transit strike, I am carpooling with the only co-worker who lives in the sad, far far away bedroom community I am standed in.  He is pretty much a straight version of Mr. Str8 -from the same general area in Cape Breton, with the same general mentality- and we were en route to Costco, to buy his girlfriend roses)

Me: so wats for dinner?

Str8: I dont know, wat r u making for me?

Me: and I was thinking u werent gonna be romantic, silly me….

Str8: anything u want?

Me: maybe we ll just eat watever, and go out for dinner tomrw?

Str8: (after a pause)  well, dont feel to go out tonight, we ll see about tomorrow

Me: ok, great…then delivery tonight?  Had pizza at work for lunch, so no pizza

Str8: what else is there?  Fine, how about Chinese?

Me: Yes please.  lol

Str8: Since I am starving, and feel like Chinese, we will get Chinese. 

So, we ended up ordering in, and  without complaint.  I tried to pull for better material, but to no avail.  Safe to say, there wasn’t much conversation.

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Re-Rev Elev 2011 Re-Post: Shit My Boyfriend Texts

1) (appearing on MSN)’Don’t txt.  My keys are fucked.  Smashed the cell.

2) Fuck! I just locked the fucking keys in the house

3) Str8:Remember I said I felt I was forgetting something. the anti virous

Me: lol.. the anti virous?

Str8: opps, spel cheque!

4) Me: that hill will kill me, just saying

Str8: lmfo!

Me: Nice, sympathy n empathy, swell…..

Str8:  lol

Me: a great hubby..i could be near death, and u…really care. All choked up. Me sprawled all exorcist like on the side of the highway..

(ten minutes later)…aha.. I rest my case…

Str8: Lmfao!

Me: ok fine.  Even without a quippy comeback,don’t think I won’t blog this..Mr Morbid..more like..

Str8: lol, u r funny first thing in the morning!

Me: lol.. aw thanks, lack of sleep…

5) (Str8 back in the Cape, having power issues)..the power blinked off again….ths back already, i think this must be a NSPI way of a practical joke!……holy sweet american fuck! the power just went out again!…..

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Re-Rev Elev 2011Re-Post: Shit My Boyfriend Says-Str8 to the Gutter

(Jan, 2012: Welcome to a repost of a favourite, and popular (aka, there are actual comments, not by myself or close friends trying to make it look like i am all cool like that).)

1) “No.  I’m not going to New Zealand.  Just my luck, I get there and the volcano erupts.  Fuck that!”

2) “Oh yeah, I brought down the broccoli seeds, so we can grow our own and save money.  They’ll grow in a pot full of potting soil, right?”

3) “I know.  You and everyone else is in love with me.  I would be too…”

4) “What do you mean I’m not romantic?  What the fuck was me driving you to and from work all those months?”

5) “I’m hungry.  I need something now….You take too long, like your Martha fuckin Stewart on sleeping pills.”

6) “Careful walking around.  I got pissed off at my game and smashed the controller.  It shattered from the bedroom to the kitchen.  Cheap shit.”

7) “Don’t touch my hair!  It took me too long to get it like this….”

8)  ”Yeah.  I’m telling you, that guy is gay.  He’s so gay, makes you look like Brian Mulroney….Wait, he’s gay too.. fuck, you know what I mean.”

9) “Really?  YOU dated, and banged a chick?  She look like a man?”

10) “Drinking wine…You too?  Oh yeah.  I’m drinking the real stuff, not the shit I made there like you are.  Enjoy that?”

11) “No, you’re not buying those jeans.  You like Rosanne Barr greased into Celine Dion’s pants.” (to me….ya)

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Shit My Boyfriend texts

1) (appearing on MSN)’Don’t txt.  My keys are fucked.  Smashed the cell.

2) Fuck! I just locked the fucking keys in the house

3) Str8:Remember I said I felt I was forgetting something. the anti virous

Me: lol.. the anti virous?

Str8: opps, spel cheque!

4) Me: that hill will kill me, just saying

Str8: lmfo!

Me: Nice, sympathy n empathy, swell…..

Str8:  lol

Me: a great hubby..i could be near death, and u…really care. All choked up. Me sprawled all exorcist like on the side of the highway.. (ten minutes later)…aha.. I rest my case…

Str8: Lmfao!

Me: ok fine.  Even without a quippy comeback,don’t think I won’t blog this..Mr Morbid..more like..

Str8: lol, u r funny first thing in the morning!

Me: lol.. aw thanks, lack of sleep…

5) (Str8 back in the Cape, having power issues)..the power blinked off again….ths back already, i think this must be a NSPI way of a practical joke!……holy sweet american fuck! the power just went out again!…..

 

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