Tag Archives: questions

the Ides of April

funny how sometimes the universe sends you a message you cannot ignore.  And in the dark, it is the light that finds you, and the fear and pain can wash away.  I have just been in this position.  And while I try to make light of somethings, sometimes you need to acknowledge the complexities that is life.  And, in turn dead.

So, in my pitiful life, worrying about the end of employment, and dealing with pettiness, my sister had to deliver sad news.  A dear, wonderful family friend died.  And not just any one, but a selfless, compassionate and angelic like human being.  Anna was a light in the gloom of the world.  Never a mean thing to say, she was always loving.  Even when cancer began to attack, and Anna suffer, she took no easy way out, no more than she needed.  Her philosophy was always, ‘there is someone worse off than me.  Let them have it.’  And as she fought the good fight, month after month, she still was a shining light.  And last week, the last once of fight left Anna, and she was no longer an angel on Earth, as she was returned to where she was needed next.  And all those lives she touched, remembered her.

And from that, my sister returned home, to a sick husband.  And the horror of his being so sick, that he collapsed.  My sister, ever the force, did what she needed to.  My brother-in-law is a good man.  And he held on, in ICU, with my sister at his side.  And in hospital, he has gotten better.  And getting better.  And we are grateful.  Not unlike Anna, my sister is an amazing human being.  Loving, compassionate, and strong.  A light in this world.

My good friend also got bad news.  Her nephew, who came to defend another, was shot dead for his stand.  And a young man, taken out of this world by an act of violence.  And it rippled out, a family trying to make sense of such a loss.  So young and promising.  Senseless.

And today, it seems more senselessness… A member of the gay community in Halifax, a much loved, and wonderful human being, was beaten violently to death.  Raymond Taavel, came to the defense of another human being and paid with his life.  I knew of him, but a moment in time.  I meet Raymond the first day I was at the local gay bar, about a week after my mother died, and I was on my own.  I sat with him and his friends, and we drank, and ate.  We talked about writing, and many times after, when I would go to the bar, he was there.  Always a smile, always positive.   Always a chat.  He was brutually killed by a psychiatric patient who was allowed an unescorted leave.  He failed to return.  Raymond tried to defend his friend when, by the reports, the patient was accosting him.  And paid with his life.  Metro Halifax Regional Police arrested him.  There was a vigil for Raymond.  A downtown street was blocked virtually last minute, for the honour of a key member of the gay community, of the city.

In a world of diversity, of good and bad, it makes life a balance.  It seems for me, that the lives of many have intersected, that in the wake of death, of serious health issues, of loss, the balance of the universe will find a way to give us messages.  To remind us that life is precious, and short.  That any one of us, could be off this mortal coil in a last heart beat.  That good, positive people can be taken.  And while  we do not understand, or agree, that we feel anger and resentment, we all must find something good.  I wish to find the goodness, the light, the positive of good people, and try to live life with the honour, for those taken before their time, or at the end of a long road.  I choose to live up to the strength of good people.  For Anna, for my sister, my brother-in-law, my friend’s nephew, and for Raymond.  For me, in my own world, I wish to follow the strength of my family.  Heroes come in many fashions, in  many statures, but  the way someone lives life, speaks volumes to the balance of the universe.  Anna, my sister, are two of my heroes.  And Raymond.  We question why for tragic events.  It is what we do after, that defines us, our futures.  It is the universe’s way to keep us honest.  And what we do in this world, is the best way to reply to the messages of the universe, after the ides of April…

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Equality For All?

Under the notion that all are created equal, it then would seem to me, (and I am rather slanted in this), that we all have the same potential to do good and bad.  That individual growth will shape us, and the world around us.  Some may have less to work with, while others have D&G, four-leaf clovers and Iphones shooting out of their blow holes.

If this ideal is to be used by any group or organization, then really, wouldn’t they see the vast sea of variations?  Or is that too much to ask for?  That the mission statement of a communal philosophy should recognize that we are all full of potential? 

I do not remember ever hearing ‘all whom we deem equal, we shall honour them’….  Well, maybe the likes of Hitler…

We all bleed the same.  We all feel emotion.  We all do the best with what we have.  Some manage better than others.  Some cannot look to the light. 

Have we really evolved to the point of equality, or are we on the brink of sliding back down that slick, hateful hill into the abyss?  How equal are we really?

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Wedded Bliss? A Rant on Marriage

Marriage (or wedlock) is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but is usually an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. Such a union, often formalized via a wedding ceremony, may also be called matrimony. Many cultures limit marriage to two persons of the opposite sex, but some allow forms of polygamous marriage, and some recognize same-sex marriage. In some conservative cultures, marriage is recommended or compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.

People marry for many reasons, including one or more of the following: legal, social, libidinal, emotional, economic, spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, the legal establishment of a nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of commitment.[1][2]The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. Some cultures allow the dissolution of marriage through divorce or annulment.  (as from wikipedia)

Recently, I learned of a gay couple who seem to be engaged, as per a social media status update.  I am very much a supporter of marriage, gay or otherwise, in relation to love, and the commitment of two individuals.  I am a romantic, believe in love, and the soul mate ideal.  The above two paragraphs are from wikipedia. In the second, it gives reasons for many to decide to be married.  I do not presume to know the workings of someone else’s relationship….however…

It has taken way too long for humanity to deal with each other, to have a fair and equal world.  I know, not there yet but a work in progress.  Rights granted, blah blah…

My issue is that this:  If we fight for rights and equality, then shouldn’t we have some level of respect for the things we have?  Freedom of will and liberty is great.  But if gays can marry, should not we attempt to honourable? 

Straight couples have enjoyed the highs and lows of marriage from the beginning.  And while there are those that disrespect the institution and what it stands for, and there are those, as well, who value its ideals and beliefs.  With so many hetros on their own narrow view point, it makes gay marriage difficult if it is not done for the purest of reasons: love.  Man/woman marriages have been for love, money, and a myriad of reasons.  Let us face this: gay rights may picking up speed in our world, but stereotypes remain.  Gays are seen as dirty, promiscuous, and an afront to the meaning of marriage.  So, if a couple of gays who are looking to get hitched for concerns of finance, or status, rather than love and being only 2 joined in intimacy, then, how in the name of all that is Elton John, can we get away from being the demon if we put it all out there?  that we say, meh, marriage ok even if it’s not for love.  Really? 

Why would a couple of sleep-around-seths want to get married?  Sure, makes senes for the straights.  Look  step-ford family, raise kids, but really, you are schlanking the rest of the suburban street, at  the ‘swappers’ party.  You would need marriage to be the beard, if you all are bed hopping.  Well, gays do that regardless.  Unless we got kids, there is no real need to get into matrimony other than love.  Ok you may say, not so.  Seriously?  ok then, let’s see.  Money/finances?  How about investments?  RRSPs?  Will marriage make this couple I know of better?  Hardly.  If they give up trying to win the skank equivalent of the Best Picture Oscar, then meh, ok.  They marry for love.  Forsake all others.  I ll buy them a blender.

However, if we think that just because we now can marry, should we?  The straights have the corner on seedy, secret, scandalous sexual affairs of married couples.  Really, for us gays, we accept this, rather embrace this, and damn many of us are good at being tramps.  So, maybe thanks to that fabulous other red head Julia Roberts and that fine (well, not so recently) Richard Gere, the gays got the marriage bug.  That even though they are amateur porn stars, they too can live the dream. 

If gays make the committment to tie the knot, then why can’t they do it for the spirit and the letter of marriage?  And make it about romance and not how many times you can play hide wet  twirl the cabaret stick…. And if you detected some resentment, you would be right.  I have resigned myself to the knowledge that unless Mr. Str8 is left a vegetable and unable to stop me from forcing him to marry me… I will never be a bride.  And I am pretty ok with it.  I dream of being married.  I just really think those gays who count more sex partners than jelly beans while in a relationship should really just stay the course.  And leave marriage to the gays who are a better example of human equality, who truly are the marrying kind.  Those of us who believe in love, romance and being the only two,  in a party of two.   By the powers of blogging,  I now pronounce you rant and rant, and may you may rant on….

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Thanks for the Open Box of Chocolates, Forrest, You Gump!

If life is like a box of chocolate, it would have a variety of flavours and textures to choose from, right?  So, then, how it is that sometimes you open this mythical box of delights, and all you get are the same damn selections?  Thanks for the Open Box of Chocolates, Forrest, You Gump!

So it seems for many of us, with the hope that variety will enrich us.  Jobs.  Purchases.  Relationships.  The boxes I have seen have had pretty limited offerings.  And with job hunting on my list, I am not impressed.

 And if you think of the world and all of it’s locations, one would think, ‘hey, this is decent.’  Who has been to a club lately?  Those bonbons, then,  seem way too narrow in fillings.  And they all contain nuts.  Hard, indigestible nuts.  Hard core insane nuts.  The kind of nuts only a starved squirrel would try to keep.  My single friends, (the straight ones), say that it is slim pickins, like someone called ‘buffet’ at 9pm, and any tasty dish was gobbled up.  The dried up, nasties seem to be left in the box.  And, as one female friend added, ‘have bite marks even’.  Eewww…

Jobs seem to also fall under the same tab.  Sad little pieces, virtually no real choices.  And for many of us, a hunt for employment is being done all at once.  Like a sale on meat.  Some how, the not-so-starving shoppers get the prime cuts, while the general public get: ‘cashier for plastic pet poop products’, or ‘wanted sales manager for industrial audio cassettes company’….wtf??? I thought that at least, there would be one really delicious morsel to sink my sweet tooth into.  Oh, I thought I had done just that.  An entry level position in the exciting world of travel.  (insert ‘ooohhh’ and ‘aaahhhh’ here).  Sure.  Then the box of chocolate turned into some bad tasting dollar store crap.  By a company of gnomes, that shall remain nameless…. dashing my hopes of a good career move.  And now, in a financially have-not city, I am one of many, left to get the equivalent of an expired sweet.  I am gay, people, an ARTISTE.. whom has been a d list celebrity for more years than even Kathy Griffin!!! I hate starving, have I mentioned this?  No creamy centre for me to enjoy here, just the stale hard taffy core that will chip a tooth.

It feels like a candid camera version of the ‘support local’ ideal.  Locally, selection, well, sucks.  And some funny looking host will pop out and stick a camera in my face.  I want Laura Secord options here people, not dollar store stock of choices.  Really? 

So, while I have my own box of chocolates in the relationship  aisle, I am still combing through the meager remains of a post discount sale in the box of job treats.  And take it from me, not all boxes of chocolates are created equal. 

Hoping your selections are delectable and sweet…… Thanks for the Open Box of Chocolates, Forrest, You Gump!

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What We Are Willing To Do

When in a relationship is it ok not to do something for support, that maybe you may not normally do? And this time, we are not talking about anything of the requests of the intimate pursausion. We are actually going to look at relationship basics. Sure there are times, in the normal daily routine of life, that we have brakes on when it comes to certain practices. A partner who only drinks on rare, special occasions, for example, will opt out on going for drinks with friends after work, as it is not their thing. Or, a partner uncomfortable at the vetinarians, wont accompany you with Fifi, on a routine check-up. Ok. Not a problem. We all have little things we wont do. One cannot expect to always have mates do whatever they want. Not everyone is a Kardashian, so real life partners should not be tyrannical and command each other to do something they do not want to, or not normally do.

Picture this. While dating Clark, I introduced him to my Uncle, and they seemed to hit it off.  A few months later, he passed away.  I was crushed.  I do not deal well with death.  And Clark knew this.  And when I mentioned to him that after the funeral the family was getting together, he in no mixed signals, flatly said he would not be attending. I naturally, in true form to the tempers of both sides of my lineage, went atomic bomb on him.  I still have to deal with the hole in wall from the front door slamming into it, after I bent the door catch frame.  I was mourning and here was my partner, telling me because he dosen’t ‘do’ these things, that he would wait in the car.  Really?  The irony is that for months, in the beginning, he was all ‘ms. Drama’ if I did not introduce him to my family.  And it was an attack when I mentioned to my godmother on the phone, that I was with my ‘friend’.  And now, in a time of need, he was being an ass.  Now, on the day of the funeral, he was the quiet strength I needed.  The blur of getting to the service, the wait in the chapel.  The service itself.  Public displays of affection were very few with us, but the whole time, Clark did hold my hand, as I squeezed it, or had an arm about my shoulders. By the simple act of being there for me in that moment, I forgave him for not actually meeting the rest of my family.  And with my sister, they got me through that day. 

And while dating Daniel, he was only ever out to my mobile home once, and only because he returned from a working trip early, and his parents were still at his apartment.

Daniel: “I hate Sackville. I hate the drive.”

Me: “Excuse me? Your ass drives to the resort on the other coast and back, but you can’t take the 30 minute drive to Sackville??!”

Daniel: “It is the worst drive ever.”

And so, never did I ask to get picked up or dropped off at my place, to avoid the thirty minute to over 1 hour bus rides to get to his place in the Southend.  I did, however, make it a point to constantly remind him of his childishness.  (I rather enjoyed that more than winning and getting him out to the edge of hell).

With Mr. Str8, we both have lines we refuse to cross.  Serious, as well as the ridiculous.  A regular battle is getting him to meet me at the terminal.  I advise him of when the ETA is.  And he shows up minutes later.

Str8: “I am not waiting for you.”

Me: “Pardon me? So I have to wait for you?”

Str8: “It’s easier for you to wait, you can go in the building. That’s the deal.”

 And when winter weather settled in, drive intelligence drops faster than the temperatures.  There were a string of accidents on the highway home in a stretch of about a week.  And without knowing, I texted Str8 to be at the terminal at the time I thought we would get in.  And I updated him.  The after traffic of yet another accident was delaying us.  And when I got there, I were prepared for a fight.  I actually figured he would be unreasonable about having to wait, and I was already to do my diva bitch role.  What I got was, a smile, supportive words, and a kiss.

Me: “Who are you and what did you do with my boyfriend?”

 Str8: “What? You thought I was going to complain? What do you take me for?”

 Me: “Wow, I feel like an asshole. I am sorry babe.”

Str8: “Besides, I am in the mood, so guess how you’re going to make it up to me?”

Me: “And then my BF appears. Ok, but I will only do it because of your sacrifice, and not because I would do it anyway.”

I have found myself willing to go along with things, more so it feels, than partners do for me.  Not that I ask a lot.  I mean, really, I am a diva, so it is expected to have a certain level of worship.  It goes without saying.  I would do family things for my man.  I have, and will do again.  I would be supportive and do whatever it takes to ease the pain of the one I love.  I would drive anywhere, and take it all with a smile.  I know Str8 is not keen on pets.  And thanks for my feral feline pals, I am not so determined still to take in a new pet. Love is compromise.  Love is putting someone else before you.  Love is saying thank you for being supportive.  Thank you is not often common it feels today. As in the world now.  We all expect a lot of things.  We expect partners to do things they may not normally like to do.  And when we are in that position, how willing are we to put ourselves out there?  No one ever is perfect. (Naturally, besides me….wink).  Truth is, humans interact for a reason.  We may not stay forever together, but sometimes there are reasons.  Degrees of love, and kindness.  Sometimes we found out just what kind of person we are involved with, at the times when we most need them.  When do we say to someone we love, ‘no’?  When in a relationship, is it ok not to do something we may not normally do, for the person we care for?  As an individual, one does not need to give up who they are.  Relationships are only strengthened by having individual identities.  And not to take for granted that just because we are in a relationship, we can force each other to go out of comfort zones.  When in love, we can be capable of acts of sacrifice, while at the same time be capable of acts of selfishness.  Support your partner, goes without saying.  If you do not feel that, then you have some decisions to make.  If you do, then it just may be love.  Trust me, you can have love, and not feel it daily.  When the chips are on the table, its then, you discover the depth of love.

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An Ex-Spotting?

Have you ever kept in contact with an ex?  How many of us, once we are done with, or been unceremonious dumped by, an ex, do we keep in touch?  And if not, the running into an ex is like ‘Walking Dead’ meets 90210 drama.  How can one overcome this by chance encounter?

I tot I taw an x! Did I, did I tee an x?

Ok, so as luck would have it, I have only a few select ex-partners that I will eventually run into.  And of all my ex’s, only one remains a valued friend.  My musing is thanks to a creepy encounter the other day, while on the bus to work.  Trying to mind my own business, while chatting with a former work friend, I glanced out the window, into the passenger side window of a van.  With a dog perched vicariously in the seat.  Beyond the dog- that face!  I can be prone to drama, so ghosts get the best of me at times.  I usually think I see people I used to know, out and about.  Natural, as we do live in the same city, right?  Well, this is not one of those stories!

Clark had a rather interesting life, albeit a long, soul-searching one.  I will have to devote a full article for this one! Until then….About four years ago, I had the half-hearted goodbye with him.  This was after I allowed him to stay with me, after he ended things (I know, don’t judge….), for about a month or so. He had no connections to any of his ex’s, and I was insane enough to think this would be any different after only 8 months.  We chatted friendly once, a couple of weeks later.  Through a series of events, he had been with someone else, and it seemed to have ended on a sour note.  He moved back home to his parents.  In bumroger nowhere, hours away.  Clark, did not have his driver’s license.  He couldn’t handle a lawn mower.  However, in the time since I knew him, word has it that he indeed has his license now, for a job.  (gasp!)  And, I have it on good authority, could very well have been driving along side my bus.  In the city!?

I wish I could say that it was a spark of lost love that I was feeling.  But the awkwardness was darker than that.  I analyzed it for a long time, but it isn’t about us.  Or me.  It really is about how someone who loved someone else, could just pull up stakes, faster than an illegal snake oil husker, and leave behind bad karma.  That someone couldn’t repay what they owed, and settle up, is beyond me.

It really is not about the money, or the broken promises.  An ex who slinks out of your life, like a fox out of the hen-house, as not to get caught, is not a person I care to re-encounter.  Bygones be bygones, I get.  Does this make me one of those yappers, who never lets the past rest?  No.  Pretty sure I can let things go.  I am still practicing that one.  Is it that thing, about the fine line between love and hate?  Again, no.  I do not hate Clark.  However, I do not like him.  Or who he was.  If I were to come face to face with him… That’s the rub.  I could make a public scene (which I have already done with him).  I could be polite.  If you have something to say to someone who meant something to you, should you not be able to speak your mind?  If given the chance, would I walk away, or would I deck him?

Ok, I know.  There is the high road.  And the low road.  I like to think of myself as a high road person.  I have weak moments, I admit.  I can slip back into the hood routine of my past.  (If I do, please note, it’s Brynaenae Shanikqua, thank you).  I have great advice for others, but for myself.. meh.

And running into an ex, is usually at the worst time possible.  One friend admitted, that she had an ex encounter at a protest gone wrong.  He was the police officer who grabbed her, in the melee, and tackled her to the ground.  I know!  He arrested her.  Another friend, was on a date with a new girl, and his ex turned out to be the waitress, who took the order from his new girl, while he was on his way.  He got there, and found them politely talking.  (It was a bad break-up, after 4 years).  He kept collected, and they did chat, but he admitted, it was awkward.  So, unless the fates throw us together, in some freakish attempt to entertain the universe, I guess I can handle it.

So, I will, now that I have gotten a wiki link update, allow myself to relax, and let the bitch slap land where it will.  Is foreshadowing any better than blissful ignorance?  Would I be better off?  After all, who is to say we will even actually ‘see’ each other.  I mean, we could be (have been) at the same place, at the same time, and never know it.

And there you have it.  Puppets for the universe’s enjoyment.  Ex’s are ex’s for a reason.  Some, a nightmare.  Some, just didn’t fit as well as the Chanel jacket that never lets you down.  So, then, if you have ever encountered an ex, how did you handle it?  Did you ignore them, or they you?  Did you have a confrontation?

Have you ever ran into an ex?  Ran one over?  Any advice?  Would love to hear your stories, of an ex-encounter!

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Love & Quality Time (aka the Things We Do for Sex)

Spending quality time with someone, is an important part of human development.  We all know about belonging, and needs.  Some of us have more social skills then others.   (We all knew folk like that..hell, we could be them even).  There is as many things we like to share, as there are people to share them.  Friends always have it easy.  I know the friends I can watch ‘Sex and the City’ with, or ‘Glee’, do dinners, movies, drink, run the roads, or do a spa night.  Once you cram a Samantha, Charlotte, or Miranda, (or even a Carrie),  into a significant other…and sex…it gets a little complex. 

Beyond Abraham Maslow, John Curtis Gowan, and Henry A. Murray, humans in relationships usually will find themselves doing things they may not like to do, in order to fulfill certain needs.  Yes, let us be frank.  (“I’m not Frank, but just don’t call me Shirley”, Str8 once said.  He broke out into a fit of laughter, thinking he was funnier than Leslie Nielsen from ‘Airplane’.  I rolled my eyes and gave him my Diva “oh fuck”).  We will allow ourselves to do things that we may not really ever do, thanks to getting regular supply of nookie. 

While courting, Str8 was more than willing to take me out, meet up with my friends for drinks and half price h’ordeuvres, and listen to us complain about work.  We did restaurants at lest twice a month.  Movies.  We would play favourite songs for each other, watching the videos on YouTube.  Sit on the deck, and star-gazer with a glass of wine.  Ah, the good old days.

Now-a-days, I have been a soundboard for him about video games.  He explains them to me, thinking my hovering over him is a sign of interest.  (I do this to either bug him or annoy him  into not playing).  I have also taken to try to show some interest.  I have sat to watch him play.  Encourage him.  Scream at zombies.  Even played some with him.  On the other hand, I have taken to his interest in making homemade wine.  (It’s alcohol, after all.  And wine..a love we both share).  It’s something we do.  Even if he does most of the work, and I take orders.  (“hand me that towel”, “hold the tube”, “see this packet?  It is…”)  I feel like Igor, to his Count Dracula…  However, it is something we can do together.

I have in turn shared my pastimes of writing.  He is impressed with the blog, even if he says things like: “Do you think all those people really read your shit, or do they just happen on it by mistake?”     I know, I wish I could put into words how I feel about his support.  Or, my digital photo art.  He has been good with that. Even if he says things like:  “You did that?  Not bad.  What the fuck is it?”

This summer, we started a new thing.  On gorgeous days, in the heat and sun of summer, (the 3 days we were blessed with this year), we drive in to town to Point Pleasant Park.  And feed the squirrels.  Or, as a child, Str8 called them, ‘square-els’.  It is fun, and I have more squirrel photos than I do of him, or us together.  (Str8: “One picture each time we go is enough.  You starting a fucking blog about squirrels?”)

In the winter, we started watching back-to-back episodes of ‘Charmed’, from season 1.  We dissected the stories, check in IMDB for information (like Holly Marie Combs being pregnant juring filming), for conversation.  We shared our passion with my friend, Carlie, and her family. 

We also find making dinners a very good example of quality time.  We laugh, yell, and share a connection preparing foods.  And of course, we enjoy eating.  That goes without saying.  We make the time to take turns being the expert, and even though we have ‘shit my boyfriend says’ moments, we knew, that this is a positive thing.

I will take the quality time of watching science-fiction with Str8 on my laptop, any day.  I guess, really even in movies, we willing give in to each other’s interests, just to enjoy being with each other.  While patriotic myself, (Jenna, my NDP cap is off to you), for me, being an artist, I have made Str8 sit through Canadian films.  “Gunless’, ‘Splice’, ‘Mambo Italiano’ (which, being a gay movie, he loved, even without any sex scenes)..and I have sat through some groaner, low quality kung fu movies. 

My sister, has had her husband embrace her love of being on the road (a family trait), on the hunt for country auctions.  They galavant the countryside, making bids on boxes with hidden treasures (and junk),  and antiques.  They get to talk about the kids, work, family. He gets to enjoy her company, while she also gets to enjoy another passion, photography.  My brother-in-law, may make fun, but indulges her creativity, and is right there, sharing it.  It works for them now, as in an empty nest, they have found something productive to do. Together.  “It’s often the only way I can get him out of the house with me”, she said when they started this adventure.  “Otherwise, we would be in the house, watching a marathon of ‘Star Wars’, day in, day out.  I can’t fit into some of my clothes as it is now!”  I heard that sister!

I mean, I am not sure I could find myself being Katie Holmes-like to join Scientology, even for Tom Cruise.  (Sorry Tom).  Or find myself in the middle of croc territory, (no matter how much I love animals), like Terri did for Steve  ‘Crocodile Hunter’ Irwin.  (Sorry Terri).  However, I do enjoy every precious moment I have with the man I love, even if he is Str8.  And we all have learned our own limits when it comes to taking on our significant other’s interests.  That as humans, we are willing to make the case for companionship, and no matter how mundane, or exciting, we will do things for the ones we love.  More precisely, the truth is, that as Maslow said, we will do just about anything to get laid.  What?  It’s the nookie.  Right?

Paint it any colour you want, but humans are social creatures.  We thrive with interacting with others.  As creatures looking for companionship, we have so much to share.  It’s not about just the common interests, but the ones that are different.  Of all the reasons we will ourselves to share things together, is it just the prime directive of sex?  Do straight men really go to the opera just to sit next to their ladies?  Do ladies really suffer football just for the tight ends?  As much as it is for love?  Are we willing to try new things, for the sake of sex?  Or love?  Both?  What hobbies, interests, pastimes, adventures do you share with your partner?

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Filed under Relationships, Silly Me

How Well Do You Know Your Partner? #1

Funny thing, people. 

So, thinking about the things romantic partners say, do, act and look.  Even when you think you know someone, really, how well do you know them?

Case in point.  Let’s call him…Clark..

1- Set up his whole monogamy spiel, and launched into a flaming fury over discovering I had a defunct dating website profile.  He swore he would never get one.   Conclusion: a month after we broke up, he had a profile set up.  He chatted to, and went to meet him. (He lived in New Brunswick).  He never left for 2 yrs…

2- Was up front about his past partners not being friends, and did not keep in touch with them.  He told me on numerous occasions that I was different.  And after all the crap we went through, after my supporting his sorry, lazy unemployed ass (yes, I let him stay with me after we broke up), he finally left.  A cousin got him a job, and he moved out.  I spoke to him once, a week later, and then, nada, ziltz, nothing.  He conveniently cut me off. 

I know, I may have, in some ways, deserved it.  But, Clark was a character…

And this is the first appearance of him.  Don’t worry, Clark will be around for many more posts, to be sure…

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Filed under Relationships